Do you ever feel you’re at the bottom of your list of priorities?
Many people put themselves last and they suffer for it.
They eat low quality food, break their commitments to themselves, don’t take good care of their bodies and use unhelpful self-talk.
They react to demands, pressures and external influences, giving little thought to their own needs.
The result is exhaustion, overwhelm and resentment. And their emotional wellbeing suffers.
We struggle to be at our best if we don’t take time out for ourselves to refresh, restore and renew.
Do you want to treat yourself better?
Do you want a kinder relationship with yourself? One where you value
yourself and truly know your worth?
Nurturing ourselves does not have to be hard or time-consuming.
Below are 3 ways to nurture yourself and treat yourself more kindly.
Choose your favourite and start applying it for a healthier, happier you!
1. Talk to yourself like your best friend
The most important conversations you will ever have, are the conversations you have with yourself.
We spend most of our time in our own head, so what we say to ourselves not only affects how we feel, but how we act.
If many people treated their friends the way they treat themselves, they wouldn’t have many friends!
If your best friend was going through what you are going through, what advice would you give her?
When you notice unhelpful internal chatter, ask yourself – would you be happy for that to be broadcast publicly?
Would you want your children to know how you berate yourself in your head?
As the saying goes, where attention goes, energy flows.
It’s almost impossible to have negative thinking that doesn’t have an effect on us externally.
Numerous studies show the importance of our internal talk and how if we say the right things to ourselves, we are much more likely to succeed.
Think about the most common things you say to yourself about yourself.
Are the things you would say to your best friend?
If not, it’s time to replace that with loving talk that builds you up and makes you feel great.
Have a think about the phrases you can say to yourself when you’re faced with the temptation to berate yourself.
We’re all different in what motivates us, which is why you need your own list.
Keep them short and snappy. In the moment, you don’t always have time to pull out a book, phone a friend or read an inspiring article.
You need quick statements – statements that resonate with YOU, otherwise,
it won’t work.
It can take all of 10 seconds and may be the difference between spiralling down into a bad mood or choosing joy instead.
Some power phrases you may like to use –
‘You have integrity’
‘Honour your values’
‘Trust yourself’
‘I love you and appreciate you’
‘Great job! I’m so proud of you.’
‘You’ve got this’
‘That’s not my goal’
‘Be proud of yourself’
‘You’re strong’
I’ve listed some here to give you ideas, but what motivates some people won’t necessarily motivate you.
So I encourage you to create your own list.
And as you think of them in life also, add them to your list, like a work in process.
Words have power. They have a huge effect on our state of mind!
2. Make your decisions according to your goals and values
It’s impossible to be truly happy if we aren’t living in line with our values.
Too often, we say ‘yes’ to things and people without weighing up the consequences.
Or we say ‘no’ to opportunities because of fear or doubt.
I’d like you to do something right now.
Think about the type of person you want to be. Picture that person right now. Take your time – visualise how they feel, and how they act.
Visualise what they are wearing, how they move, what they look like.
Now ask yourself “What kind of decisions do they make?”
Often we make decisions with little thought, in order to please other people and that comes at a cost.
If we say ‘yes’ when we mean ‘no’, or ‘no’ when we mean ‘yes’, we are going against our own values.
Let people know what’s okay for you and what’s not. A best friend wouldn’t let someone treat you badly.
Of course, we need to compromise in all relationships at times. But many of us compromise too much and end up being resentful.
When we practise being bold by making decisions according to our goals and values, we get better at it.
It’s a muscle we can build.
The pain that may come from speaking our truth is over in a few minutes.
However, we are left with deeper satisfaction and lasting happiness.
The right decision feels good longer than a few minutes. It is one based on the things that are important to us, such as health, energy, and wellbeing.
True happiness comes from knowing that we are in control of our decisions and that we have made a choice based on our values.
3. Take care of your wellbeing – physical, mental, emotional, relational and spiritual
Get into the habit of doing nice and special things for yourself. You deserve it!
Here are some ideas:
Physical:
Walk in the fresh air and sunshine
Organise a family bike ride
Take a new class
Get a massage
Relax in a bubble bath
Mental
Read a new book
Visit a hobby you haven’t done for a while
Engage in a new activity
Visit somewhere new
Use a guided meditation app
Emotional:
Watch a funny movie
Talk about your feelings with others whom your trust
Make yourself a cup of tea or a candlelight dinner with the energy that you’d feel when preparing for someone you love
Clear some space in your environment
Journal your thoughts and feelings
Relational
Organise a special date night
Write your friends a note about why you love them
Open up a vulnerable conversation
Ring a friend you love who you’ve lost touch with
Host a brunch or dinner at your house
Spiritual
Forgive someone
Visit a church or spiritual centre
Volunteer at an organisation you believe in
Do a prayer or gratitude walk
Spend time in nature
Action Step
Choose 1 to start on, or 1 from each category and write them into your calendar as an appointment with yourself.
Then honour the commitment you’ve made to yourself.
You’re worth it!
Would you like more help improving your relationships and wellbeing?
My upcoming workshop could be the exact thing you need.
It’s for you if you’d like to improve your wellbeing, emotional health, mindset and relationships.
Drawn from my years as a Clinical Co-ordinator for Relationships Australia, Relationship Therapist and published Author, I bring my decades of experience to help you elevate your wellbeing.
My upcoming workshop could be the exact thing you need.
It’s for you if you’d like to improve your wellbeing, emotional health, mindset and relationships.
Drawn from my years as a Clinical Co-ordinator for Relationships Australia, Relationship Therapist and published Author, I bring my decades of experience to help you elevate your wellbeing.
You’ll pick up the tools you can use to:
* Understand yourself and your behaviours better
* Navigate your current season well
* Understand and handle your challenges and your stressor
* Create a total wellness roadmap, so you can live your life by design rather than default.
If you want greater health and wellbeing in every aspect of your life, this workshop will give you the tools to make decisions in alignment with your highest values.
Learn More
